Before and After Engagement funny insulting sms jokes

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AFTER ENGAGEMENT:

SHE: I waited so long for this
HE: Do U want me to leave?
SHE: No. never!
HE: Do U love me?
SHE: Yes I did, I'm doing & I'll do
HE: Did you ever cheat me?
SHE: I would rather die than do it.
HE: Will you kiss me?
SHE: Surely, it's my pleasure.
HE: Will you hurt me?
SHE: No way, I'm not such a kind of person.
HE: Can I trust you?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Oh, Darling!

To know AFTER WEDDING
>>Read from bottom to top<<



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Before Engagement: "Why do they call it getting engaged? Because once you're engaged, you can't escape... just like a really good magic trick!"

After Engagement: "I asked my partner if we could have a low-key engagement. They said sure, as long as the ring is still high-key sparkly!"


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Before Engagement: "Why did the engagement ring go to school? It wanted to get a little 'bling' in education before the big commitment!" After Engagement: "Getting engaged is like choosing a Wi-Fi password. You want something strong and secure because you're going to be sharing it for a lifetime!" Before Engagement: "They say engagement is finding someone to share your heart with. I thought they meant my Netflix password." After Engagement: "Engagement is like a software update for your relationship. It's exciting at first, but you know you'll have to work out a few bugs along the way."

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Before Engagement: "Why did the engagement ring start a podcast? It had a lot of karat interviews lined up!" After Engagement: "They say marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Just kidding – it's all about the love, laughter, and teamwork!"

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Before Engagement:
"I told my partner I wanted a 'serious' engagement. They handed me a ring and said, 'Is this serious enough, or should I call a clown?'"

After Engagement:
"Getting engaged is a lot like mastering a recipe. It takes the right ingredients, careful mixing, and a dash of commitment – just don't forget to preheat the oven of love!"

Before Engagement:
"Why did the engagement ring become a detective? It wanted to solve the mystery of eternal love before the proposal!"

After Engagement:
"Engagement is when a man and woman decide to become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one."

Before Engagement:
"I asked my partner what they thought about getting engaged. They said, 'Sure, as long as it doesn't come with a user manual.' Little did they know, I've been writing one!"

After Engagement:
"Why did the engagement ring apply for a job? It wanted to settle down and work on its 'carats'!"





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Before Engagement:
"Why did I bring a ladder to our date? I wanted to take our relationship to the next level… or at least reach the top shelf!"
After Engagement:
"Now that we're engaged, I realize I still can't reach the top shelf—but at least now I have someone to blame for putting things up there!"

Before Engagement:
"My love life is just like Wi-Fi—looking for a strong connection, but settling for what's available."
After Engagement:
"Now engaged, we've agreed on one rule: Whoever forgets the anniversary buys the Wi-Fi for the year!"

Before Engagement:
"I always thought love was a fairy tale—until I met you. Turns out, it’s more like a comedy special."
After Engagement:
"Our engagement is like my favorite show: full of plot twists, awkward moments, and lots of binge-watching together."

Before Engagement:
"I told my friends I was ready to settle down. They asked if that meant buying furniture or getting engaged."
After Engagement:
"Turns out, getting engaged comes with more cushions and way more opinions on throw pillows than I expected!"

Before Engagement:
"I wondered if I'd ever find the right person. Now I mostly wonder where you put my car keys."
After Engagement:
"Love means never having to say you're sorry… for stealing the blankets every night!"

Before Engagement:
"Why do people get engaged? For the rock, of course!"
After Engagement:
"Now that I have the ring, can we talk about getting a pet rock too? Less maintenance!"

Before Engagement:
"I told you I wanted a ring, but I didn't say which finger!"
After Engagement:
"Now you want me to wear it all the time? Even when I’m washing the dishes?"

Before Engagement:
"My favorite kind of commitment? Committing to dessert at every meal!"
After Engagement:
"Now we’re engaged, every dessert is shared… but at least the calories are too!"

Before Engagement:
"Why do couples hold hands? Because if they let go, they’ll shop without supervision!"
After Engagement:
"I thought we’d hold hands forever… but one of us always has their phone!"

Before Engagement:
"I thought the scariest thing about commitment was saying the 'L' word."
After Engagement:
"Now, it’s ‘laundry.’”

After Wedding – Dialogue (Read from Bottom to Top)

HE: Will you cook for me?
SHE: Order food, it’s faster.

HE: Will you give me a back rub?
SHE: Ask our dog.

HE: Will you love me forever?
SHE: If you buy me chocolate.

HE: Can I trust you?
SHE: With your food? Never.

HE: Oh, Darling!




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