Tell Me A Joke | Funny Jokes English | Joke of the Day

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tell me a joke



Only one person in the village is a carnivore - all the others are vegetarians. They were bothered by the smell of meat cooking and complained to the village headman. The village chief said to the carnivore, 'You too become a vegetarian. He said that no one will have trouble because of you.
The carnivore nodded.
The village head sprinkled the Ganga water on the carnivore and said, "You are a carnivore by birth, and from now on you are a vegetarian."

The next day, the smell of chicken came from the same house again. If the village headman goes with the villagers, he sprinkles Ganga water on the non-vegetarian chicken and says, "You are a chicken by birth. Potatoes from now on," he says.


kids laughing in the classroom


6 birds are sitting on a tree.
A hunter saw it and shot it into a tree.
5 birds fly away, but one bird sits still.
Why...?
.
.
.

.

Attitude (like you)...😆😆

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Teacher: Why didn't you come to school yesterday?
Student: Our hen laid an egg yesterday
Teacher: What's so strange about that?
Student: Isn't it strange, you lay an egg and let's see. .
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There was a girl,
Day sees,
laughing at
Laughing and singing
The singer was shy,
I thought it was love,
Later came to know that she is A mental patient ...!

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Differnce Between Theoretical N Practicle Knowledge

Girls Scores 99 out of 100 In Computer..
Dont Even Know How To Turn On Computer properly

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I’M WARNING YOU…
 Don’t message  me today!
 I know Karate,  sale Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words😆

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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. He Cried Then I said Not only Onion but Coconut Also
I Laughed ...


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What is BUS?
A Vehicle that runs slow when you are in it, but
Runs faster when you are chasing it
bus and the students




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Terrorists had kidnapped our lecturers...
N demanded 500000 rs R else they will burn them wd kerosene..plz donate.
I have donated 15 Lts...

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Confident Lines On A WINE SHOP Board.


"Men Who Love A Girl Truely,
Will One Day Love Me Too..."
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Funny Road Sign

An excellent sentence 
written on a national highway: 
Go slow, 
unless U have an urgent appointment with God!

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How nice would it be,
if every relationship came with the same tagline of Johnson baby soap?
"no more tears".😆


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Smile to old means Respect,
Smile to child mean Innocence,
Smile to a friend means Care,
Smile in front of Mobile a Mental case...
Still smiling.
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A Little Boy Saw A DEAD Puppy.
He Went Near It & Touched
It… Again He Touched It…
Again He Touched It.
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Oh! What A Touching Story…


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If evry1 forgets U, I'm with u.
If evry1 lets u down, I'm with u.
If evry1 betray u, I'm still with u.
But if evry1 likes u, sorry I am with them...


road sign watching school boy


Teacher: why are you late? 
Student: because of the sign on the road. 
Teacher: what type of sign? 
Student: the sign that says, “school ahead, go slow.”
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U r a nice person but, U have to do 2 things early in the morning.
1st, pray to God so that u can live.
2nd, take a bath so that others can live.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day.....
It is just a formality, 
like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins.....
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What is another painful sentence other than
'I hate you.':-/

"

"

"

"
"


I finished studying, you finished??

Hurts a lot:😆


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What r u searching 4 No msg today 😆


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BOY: Do you have a PEN? 
Girl: Yeah
BOY: Oh... It is Out Of Ink! 
Girl: What? …You’re Kidding, It Works! 
Boy: It Doesn’t Work! Well, You Try… Go, Write Your Cell Phone Number Here

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To
The S.M.S Police station

Sir, As my friend is not sending SMS, I kindly request You to take action immediately & encounter his waste mobile...
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A boy located Aladdin’s lamp, 
he asked him to grow all ladies brain ten times greater.
He laughed and stated: Multiplication doesn't observe on zero.
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How to become a GENIUS....*some text missing*
find the missing text and surely you will become a GENIUS......
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 joke of the day


"Speaking to a genius for one minute is equal to reading a hundred books".

It's a Chinese proverb.

So feel free, to call me and talk 2 me at any time.

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Innocent Reply Teacher- Bathroom


Kid: Teacher Can I Go Bathroom?

Teacher: (Correcting him) “May” I Go To The Bathroom?

Kid: Miss, But I Asked 1st ..!

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Human beings get rich as they grow old:
Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never-ending supply of Gas!

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Railway minister
has
introduced
new train
from
Mysore
to
Pakistan.

What
is the name
of
train?

Guess!



"MYSOREPAK" express.
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ok google tell me a joke in English
Hey google tell me a joke
ok google tell me a joke in Telugu
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My friend thinks he is smart.
He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry,
so I threw a coconut at his face.

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Imagine..
Urself in a boat which is sinking,
sharks n crocodiles all around u!
What can u do 2 save urself???


very simple "stop IMAGINING"!!
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It's so common hearing,
How r u?
Wat r u doing?
How was ur day?
So let me ask u something different.
Did u smile today?
If not, do it now.
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An amazing banner outside a wine shop...
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.
"If you Love someone today..,
then you will surely Love me someday.!


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The teacher says to the student, In Algebra
A=B
nd
B=C.
It means A=C.

Now give a relevant example.
Student: Sir, I love U n U love ur daughter,
It means that I love your daughter.
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A great love story..

hero loves heroine,
but heroine loves villain,
but villain loves the hero's sister,
but the hero's sister loves the heroine brother
but heroine brother loves villain sister
but villain sister loves hero's brother.
finally, 2 persons commit suicide who are they?


producer n director. :)
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I am Looking for a Bank which can perform Two things for me,
Giving me a Loan, and then Leaving me Alone...

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How to Kill a mosquito: 
Catch it alive, Tie its legs then make gudgudi in its stomach and when it laughs,
Catch its mouth & pour a spoon of Poison ….

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Wife: had ur lunch.?
Husband: had ur lunch.?
Wife: I m asking you
Husband: I m asking you
Wife: u copying me.?
Husband: u copying me?
Wife: let's go shopping
Husband: Yes I had my lunch


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Laughter is d Best medicine,
.
.
.
.
But if u r laughing without any reason, U need Medicine..
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Y r u so opposite to me?
When I say tea,u say coffee!
I say white,u say black!
I went to the dental hospital, u went to a mental hospital!
I came back and u still there!
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When I was in darkness, you gave me light.
You gave me the strength to make life bright.
Thank you so much. ..
PHILIPS TUBELIGHT ...................
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cow



NEWTON’S LAWs:
A Cow Was Walking, Newton Stopped It. He Stopped,,
He Found His 1st Law.
“An Object Continues To Move Unless It Stops”
.
.
He Gave A Force By Kicking The Cow
It Gave A Sound
He Formulated The 2nd Law.
“Force, F=MA”
.
.
After Sometimes Cow Gave A Kick To Newton,,
Then He Formulated the 3rd Law.
“Every Action Has An Equal And Opposite Reaction”

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Only Place Where u feel totally alone..,
Even if surrounded by people, where u know..
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Exam Hall :'(:p.
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From Mon to Sun,
From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death,
my feelings 4 u have never changed.
For me, you`ve always been...a headache!
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When I want to fall in love with my books...
My bed falls in love with me...
And I believe that love the one who loves you

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I think I'm disturbing U always. Sorry, Dis is My last Msg &
I will not msg U any more Gud bye
Never, expect this from me I'm born 2 Dstrb u.
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Girls status on Facebook:
feeling sad:-
1700 comments

boy's status on FB:
going to suicide...
3 likes and one comment:
dude, whose gonna use your bike?
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A Hurt Line By A Boy Who's Friend Req
Was Not Accepted by A Girl On Facebook
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I Had Sent You A Friend Request..
Not A Love Letter........... =P
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